Week 3 Preview

I'm sitting around waiting for Laurie to get out of work to go to the Pickle Festival (a real thing I'm actually going to - also no homo) so figured I might as well provide some content that no one will read since it's Saturday.  I could tell you to all go fuck your mothers and none of you would even see it.  While I'm on it, what the fuck with my fire sale?  I put Jamaal Charles on the trading block and nothing?  Peyton Manning?  Ever heard of him?  You guys should all go fuck your mothers.  Here's your fuckin preview:

Bryan barely looks at his team, so odds are he rolls with this lineup as is.  The no QB strategy is bold, but I must say, kind of stupid.  I'd also play 3 WRs since my opponent is as well.  Scott will need this advantage as Michael Vick failed to reach ten points on Thursday.  Last game Kaepernick played he didn't reach 2 points.  So maybe that's what scared Bry.  Who knows.  Cobb, Cruz, Martin, CJ shoudl be enough for Scott.  Prediction: Scott.

Perhaps Hemrick feels bad about his stat correction victory and decided to bench two players.  Hemrick has been away in AC all week and will undoubtedly be catching up on sleep rather than checking his fantasy team.  Maybe he gave up after trading a #1 WR for a #3 RB.  Hill won't be sweating the Rice decision since he drafted his handcuff, Bernard Pierce, not too much of a drop off really.  Will he get the good Cut of the bad Cut though?  I say the bad one.  But I still say he wins b/c of his running backs and wide receivers.  Prediction: 

 It's a New Paltz showdown in Week 3 for Joe and Matt/Sean, and on Alumni Weekend no less.  Matt/Sean had an average Thursday from their two guys, but those are two guys that have been putting up close to 50 points instead of 30.  The players they need to compensate are Matt Ryan and Julio Jones, but they have a tough matchup against Miami.  Matt Ryan will see pressure all day.  Ferencz has the advantage here.  The one place Miami D is weak is against TE's (Cameron in Week 1, Fleener in Week 2).  I also like the matchups for Boldin, Green, Andre Johnson (if healthy), Tom Brady and Russel Wilson.  Prediction: Joe.

 Mike goes from 2-0 and first place to staring 1-2 dead in the face going against the team atop the standings.  He does get a chance to get some revenge at least, and vault himself into the discussion for best team with a win here.  Mike owns Trent Richardson, so that puts him a tough spot, but playing Run DMC, who leads the league in rushing, is not a bad alternative (never thought I'd write that this year).  He's a little thin at WR though and needs Larry Fitz to not play.  James, let's face it, has been lucky.  He has the 2nd lowest points in the league and finds himself in first place.  Must be nice.  TE is an issue.  Two Dolphins receivers could be an issue (though not this week).  I still believe in Gore though, who had an impossible matchup last week in Seattle and both his QB should have big weeks, but Eli is fairly unpredictable.  I anticipate this being the lowest scoring matchup of the week and should be close.  Prediction: James.

Fuck you Dwayne Bowe.  I have the top QB in points, a top-10 WR, the top RB (who will stay #1 if Forte doesn't score 30), and the #5 TE.  I'm fourth in points for and first in points against.  My team is good it just need to stay calm and hope for a good week.  However, I go against a very good but volatile team this week.  Nicks, Nelson, Williams and Tannehill are all hit or miss guys, but they all have good matchups this week.  Rodgers, Wayne, Morris and Graham, are all pretty consistent and pretty good to elite.  I'll need the luck to swing my way to come out with a win this week.  If you see me drop to 0-3, I'll be primed for a trade raping.  There is no chance I'm thinking straight if that happens.  Prediction: Brown