102pm Chris hill let's out his first CORDELLE!!! after a big return
1;05 matt cassel sucks and fumbled. Red Tom Brady is set up inside the 10. A chance for the first td
106 mint mintz finally arrices as the alw firm fucks him in the ass.
107 dallas is set up on the 5 after a big punt return. Dez or murray?!?!
108 MURRAY!!!!!! and hill goes up 19 to -.5
109 Jamaal Charles with a 31 yard td shows me what could've been :(
111 hemrick makes fun of mintz for mispronoucing Prater. My how things have changed
112 I explainto hill how the rangers suck b/c the shitty isles beat them. he quickly changes the subject
114 prater hits a 3 pt FG. Hill leads 22.5 to .5
116 red tom brady hits gresham in stride for a 20 yard catch. Gresham then fumbles and ends the drive. Bad news for Mike.
117 mike asks hill about his blinds. Are they custom?" We're so old.
118 red zone shows us that the browns and jets still exist. they did not do so with a jordan cameron catch though.
120 stella looks like shew ants to play catch. I throw the ball. She yawns then licks herself
123 the bills are moving into FG range. Trying to ruin the Dolphins shut out. Thad lewis is looking like the next akili smith.
125 Bills hit a 45 yard FG
125 DEZ BRYANT INJURED!!!!!!! Rolling around on the ground!!!!!! OOOOOHHHHHHHH
126 Dez Bryant is walking around on the sideline and looks fine. Mintz gets sad.
126 Luck is driving the Colts, giving Hill a sustained drive. Mike is happy because Trent Richardson gets on the field more. Hemrick and hill don't think that matters.
127 t rich runs for -3 yards. Looks like hemrick and hill were right.
128 t rich gets those 3 yards back with a catch. Who's laughing now Hill and Hemrick??
129 Luck moves the colts into the red zone.
129 The broncos pass up a 50+ yarder to not make it on fourth down. Sorry Hill
130 T Rich takes 4 hard hits and gains 2 yards. Not a great ratio
130 Luck throws the ball directly into the arms of a KC corner. He drops it. Hill exhales
131 Hill is up 24.58 to 4.28
132 this is the first time we've seen the saints offense. Not a good sign for mike.
132 also not a good sign: Brees gets sacked on third down. No points for Pierre Thomas.
135 RTB is finally back on the field. Mike just asked for Marvin Jones to make a catch. "in our league?" I asked. (the answer is yes)
139 Zac Stacy scores a TD. That helps no one except my FanDuel league.
140 and Dez Bryant is back. Crisis averted for Hill
141 RTB WITH A BOMB TO AJ GREEN! 29 YARD TD! Hill is still up 26.67 to 19.92.
142 Jets Browns is on. Nobody gives a shit.
143 Hill, G and Mintz talk about The Hobbit. Me and Hemrick tune out. Hemrick earlier told us he saw a UFO the other night. I'm the only cool one here.
144 T Rich with a first down catch. He's being less shitty today.
145 Luck moves his team into KC territory. Could Mintz get a short T Rich TD? I'll say no.
146 Titans are inside the 10. Delanie Walker territory.
146 Luck got sacked but they called it incomplete. Kool Aid man challenges
148 D Thoams just caught a 40 yard TD. My team would've won the championship this week :(
149 4th and Goal...pass to Delanie Walker!..................INCOMPLETE! Mintz dodges a bullet.
150 G opens up the door to some Kate Shane Facebook jokes. hill and myself barge through that door.
151 Kool Aid man won the challenge and killed that Colts drive.
152 have you ever wrapped a fruit roll up aroudn a pretzel rod? Mintz highly recommends it. Mintz is working on the patent.
153 Hill's D takes another hit a Fred Jackson scores against the Dolphins. Hill's lead gets smaller 35.32 to 29.58
155 Mark Ingram moves the Saints into the red zone with a 40-yard run. Mintz could use a Pierre Thomas TD here.
156 Thomas got the hand off at the 9, and takes it down to the 3. Will he get one more chance?
157 We all stop to watch a 16 year old with huge tits running down Hills block. Football ceases to matter (it was totally worth it).
158 Brees gets sacked on 2nd down and goes incomplete to James Graham on 3rd down,. It's FG time.
158 Luck has the ball back just across the 50. This seems to be where their drives end though.
159 Luck dumps the ball off to Donald Brown....he could....go....all....the....way!!!!!!!!!! Touchdown! 35 yards! Hill leads now 41.44 to 30.22
202 Matt Cassel throws a pick six. Keeps RTB off the field
203 Hill fired up the deep fryer. Mozz sticks all around. They're delicious. French fries are pending....
204 Demarco Murray with a 40 yard run. Knowing the Cowboys, it will probably be his last carry of the day.
205 Cowboys are in the red zone. Romo scrambled for a good 10 seconds, and then lofts one up to....DEZ BRYANT....incomplete. Witten was wide open
206 Romo alludes the blitz...............DEZ BRYANT!!!!!!! A dagger to Mike Mintz. Hill's lead gets bigger 59.74 to 30.22.
208 We got to Miami/Buffalo. Miami kinda stinks today. Still getting shut out and the Bills are driving up by 10.
209 uh oh Mintz. Thad Lewis throws a pick. More points for Hill.
210 The Colts have the ball again and again just across the 50. Luck misses a 48 yard TD by a step!
211 On 3rd and 8, the Colts get 7. I bet they go for this.
212 Here they go....................................T Rich for 8 yards! Mintz needs a big run and a TD from him.
213 TRich for another 5 yards! Here we go Mintzy!!
215 and the Colts have 4th and 1 again. Two minute warning.
215 "good season Christopher," Mike Mintz, sounding resigned to defeat.
218 the Colts pussed out and kicked a FG
219 FRIES ARE DONE! Crinkle cut nigga!
219 We interrupt this running diary for a french fry break
222 and we're back. Hill just said the deep fryer is keeping from watching him kick Mintz's ass. As soon as eh finishes his sentence, Andy Dalton hits Gresham for a TD. Bengals are up 28-7, which could actually hurt Mintz if they take their foot off the gas.
223 Score update: Hill is up 72.16 to 40.12. Mintz still has Rivers, Allen, Marshall and the Seattle D. Hill has Cutler, Forte and Antonio Brown. Mintz has some work to do here.
225 Alex Smith throws a ball to a black guy with dreads. It's not Jamaal Charles. He drops the ball.
226 It's starting to rain. Hemrick is hoping to see that 16 year old with the tits run back. Perhaps with a wet shirt? Can't say I blame him.
229 Red Zone just showed an old man get hit by a football player. it was HILARIOUS.
230 we're just about at halftime of the 1 o'clock games. Red Zone kinda sucks right now. Hill is feeling pretty good about himself.
230 Peyton Manning gets the Broncos into long FG territory with 11 secs left. Hill could get some more points here.
231 Manning with one more completion to the 30. Hill could get 4 more points from Matt Priter (Mintz pronunciation).
232 and it is....................................................good! From 47 yards.
234 Rex ryan gets his sweater vest in a bunch afger Geno Smith got pushed out of bounds late. Mike thinks he just smelled feet and couldn't help himself. Replay shows Geno Smith took an NBA style flop to draw the call.
236 and now we're at halftime. Score: Hill 78.75, Mike 40.10
237 wings going in the deep fryer. Why weren't we doing this all year?
239 Dallas and Wash are into the 2nd half. Pierre Garcon was a good fan duel play. Kirkc cousins was not
239 Hemrick is scoping out some 13 year olds. He's single now ladies. Watch for him a middle school near you!
241 Alf Morris has the redskins at first and goal. this means nothing for the championship but it's the only game on.
242 I point out that I don't want hill to win because of the name I'll have to ask the trophy guy to put on there. Could be awkward.
243 The Saints have the ball back. Mike could use an 80 yard Pierre Thomas TD.
244 Mark Ingram gets the carry. Not good for Mike.
244 Now Sproles is in. Uh oh
245 OH Thomas is back!............and it's a pass.......incomplete
246 GARCON!! Fanduel son!!!!!!!!
247 personal foul on the Saints. More not goodness for Mike. Looks like a bad call by the refs.
248 Drew Brees looks like Eli Manning out there. Needless to say, that's not good for the Saints.
248 Now he throws a check down to not Pierre Thomas. And they're kicking a FG. No it's a fake! And it sucked.
250 Geo Bernard with a big play inside the Minny 10 yard line. And it was a dump off! RTB points! Mintz is praying for a Marvin Jones TD
250 RTB to Sanu! TOUCHDOWN! Not Marvin Jones but it's something at least. Updated score: Hill 83.55 to 51.76.
252 Alex Smith PICKED OFF! Colts ball at their own 42. Smith's arm got hit and he floated a ball over the middle. Colts are in business.
253 Romo looking for Dez Bryant................................INTERCEPTION! So much for Demarco Murray.
255 the Colts with a 50-yard TD run!!!!!!! Ohhhh...it is not Trent Richardson. Donald Brown with a big run on Mintz's bench.
257 chicken wing time. Will not be typing for a bit.
259 Alf Morris scores for the Skins. They take the lead by 6 over the Boys. I doubt the Cowboys are done scoring. Mintz has Witten and could use about 4 touchdowns.
300 Robert Woods throws a punch and hits a guy in the helmet and gets ejected. Hemrick points out that makes no sense. Mintz points out he's a negro.
304 G won't take a wing. He won't. He won't do it. He...DID IT! GO G!
304 It's pouring rain in Carolina. "The skies have opened up," Scott Hanson. Hemrick thought he meant aliens were coming. He saw a UFO a couple of days ago after all.
306 Tony Romo, needing to make play, gets sacked. Mintz notes Witten was in to block and they still gave it up. That's bad news for Mike.
307 I tried to get Hill to eat a chicken bone. It didn't work.
307 Did I mention it's raining in Carolina? Drew Brees hates it and shows it by throwing a pick.
308 the wigger across the street is starting to ball. Hemrick is trying to figure out how to bet on it.
308 Stella finally gets a little treat and licks the salt of the table. Hemrick smiles for the first time since he saw those 13 year olds.
311 Red Tom Brady has the ball on 3. TOUCHDOWN AJ GREEN!!!!!!!!!!! Flag is down
312 It's on the defense. Touchdown stands. Score update: 87.98 to 65.16
313 Andy Luck has the Colts back on the move. First down at the 27 of the Chiefs.
313 T Rich gets a carry! Yay Mike! He got 3 yards!
314 Luck with a completion. 3rd and 1.
314 QB sneak for the first down at the Chiefs 23. Mintz needs a T Rich TD bad
315 and Donald Brown is back. He has two TDs. He's on Mikes bench. Oops.
315 Hill lets mike know about Donald Brown on his bench. Mike is aware.
315 Luck throws it away on 2nd down. 3rd and 5.
316 Luck throws incomplete looking for TRich. He was about an inch away from a pick six. Hill dodged a bullet big time.
318 CORDARELLE!!!!!!! A 35 yard TD on an end around! That is a dagger for Mintz.
319 Not Delanie Walker catches a long TD for the Titans. That does nothing for anybody.
321 A Pierre Thomas sighting!!!!!!! One catch for -3 yards. Whoo Hoo!
323 Tony Romo can't even walk and is still in the game. Not sure how he got hurt. But he's hanging in there.
325 Cowboys get stopped one yard short on 3rd and 6. They'll go on 4th down from the 35 yard line.
325 and they call timeout. Pussies.
326 Peyton Manning gets flattened by JJ Watt. I think his neck is broken.
327 RTB has the ball back and connects to AJ Green on 3rd down. They are at midfield. Mintz needs a RTB to Marvin Jones TD. Everytime I say "Mike needs" he never gets it. Sorry Mike.
328 the Dolphins have 38 yards of offense. That's not good.
328 Dallas ready to go on 4th and 1 and..............false start. Haha, stupid Cowboys.
328 4 and 6th now, and they're still going. No way they get this.
329 and they got it. Cole Beasley. That helps no one.
329 Murray gets 6 yards. 2nd and 4 from the WSH 14.
330 Romo throws it away. Late flag.
330 Red zone shows us James Graham with a 30 yard catch.
331 Cowboys are back. Murray carries for one yard. 2nd a goal. Mintz needs (whihc means he won't get) a Witten TD.
331 Murray check down for no gain.
332 Broncos TD to Decker. One point for Hill
332 Back to the Boys. Mintz is rooting for Team Ramrod. Throw to the end zone..........off Bryants fingertips!!!! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Chris Hill. Mike will get 3 Dan Bailey points.
333 Back to KC who are down 16 points with 12 mins left. If they don't score here, there could be some T Rich garbage time points.
334 No surprise here, Jamaal Charles with a first down.
334 SCORE UPDATE: Hill 103.50 to Mintz 73.06
335 CHECK DOWN TO PIERRE THOMAS!!!!!!! Yay Mike! 13 yard catch. Saints inside the ten.
336 Thomas gets the carry down to the 3.....and he jogs off the field. Oh no. He's appears to be blind.
336 Matt Moore came in for Tannehill and promptly threw a pick. Buffalo is in the red zone.
337 Mark Ingram gets the 2nd down carry for the Saints with no gain.
337 3rd and goal for the Saints. Thomas is back in. TD to Graham! Sorry Mike
338 Bills with 3rd and 2 from the 5 of MIA. And they didn't get it. Sorry Mike. Buffalo kicks the FG
339 Chiefs are in the red zone. And Smith throws a pick! Colts may look to run some clock here. T Rich points?
340 Cowboys stop the Skins on 3rd down and will get the ball back.
340 Did you guys know Hemrick likes South Park? Especially this one:
342 Time for sausage and peppers. This day is going pretty well...
345 Only 3 mins left and the Cowboys are down 6. Romo connects on a bomb to Williams (helps noone) and they have first down at the 21 of the Skins.
346 Screen to Dez goes for 15 yards. first and goal for Dallas at the 4 yard line.
346 Broncos also in the red zone. Prater potential for Hill
347 Hill admits to liking Dez Bryant. Mike thinks he was just acting b/c he was mic'd up. Hemrick thinks his a dirty nigger.
347 Here comes Dallas. First and goal from the 4. MURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Down at the half yard line.
349 2nd and goal for Dallas.
349 Mintz, being a good friend tries to burp a 31 year old man and 'accidentally' touches his butt.
350 Manning to Decker. TOUCHDOWN! Manning's 50th TD pass of the year, tying the record.
350 Hemrick points out that Donald Brown is the #1 running back of the day and on Mike's bench. Mike tries to pretend it won't matter. Chris and Hemrick properly let him know he's full of shit.
351 Mike tried to strike this Donald Brown convo from the record. Request denied.
351 Murray on 2nd goal! Stuffed. 3rd and goal from the one. Time out Redskins.
352 Hey the Jets still play football. Geno Smith with a rushing TD! He's the future!!!
353 3rd and goal for Dallas. Play action to Witten maybe? Let's see.....
353 hand off to Murray......and he loses about 11 yards!1! Wait...flag on the field! And it's picked up. Fourth and goal from the 12
354 Dallas has no idea what to do. Kevin Burkhardt "fourth and the season for Dallas" so true Kevin, so true.
354 Dez Bryant has dog shit on his shoulder. That is all. Timeout Dallas.
355 Here we go for Dallas. Romo drops back, looking, looking, check down to Murray...TOUCHDOWN!!!!! Hold shit.
356 And there's a fight! Cowboys vs Indians ya know? Not a good combo. Hemrick miraculously makes no racist comment.
358 Cam Newton connects on a big play to Ted Ginn. Carolina could send this game to OT with FG and they are in range at the NO 28 with 46 seconds left. Everyone knows Pierre Thomas is money in overtime
359 Newton to Olsen! Down to the 14. Newton clocks it with 28 seconds left.
400 Newton avoids the blitz..touchdown to former Giants great Dominick Hixon! No overtime for Thomas.
401 SCORE UPDATE: 116.22 to 78.34
402 I think 4 is a good time to slow down the running diary. I'll be updating more sporadically from here on out. Mintz needs Rivers and Allen to do a lot of work.
413 Seattle D with a pick in their own end zone after giving up a big play. Mintz is alive!
418 Hill: "Karlos Dansby spells his name with 'k'". Hemrick: "of course"
429 Hey look at that, Eli Manning missed a wide open touchdown. That never happens.....
430 still waiting to see San Diego with the ball. Mintz needs about 4 Keenan Allen touchdowns.
432 Arizona was moving the ball and then what happens? Richard Sherman pick. Here comes the Seattle D.
433 Steelers Packers are now on the air. Antonio Brown has one catch already. It's snowing in Green Bay but not too hard.
437 and the chargers make their first appearance. Rivers completes to Vincent Brown for a first down into Raiders territory. Rivers is 3 for 3 for 39 yards.
439 Rivers completes to Gates on 3rd down to keep a drive alive.
441 Rivers with a screen to Gates and a 13 yard gain down to the 11 yard line
442 3rd and 13 for San Diego and Woodhead just got knocked the fuck out after a 5 yard gain. FG upcoming.
447 Touchdown Green Bay to Jared Boykin. Seems like Pittsburgh will have to throw now.
448 we play the "who's here" game with Stella. Always great fun to see here jump around like a three legged dog.
452 Seattle gets a sack. Not sure if you guys knew but Carson Palmer kinda stinks and the Seattle D is kinda good. Don't look now but they have 17 points already and Mintz is now within 16 points. There might be some drama after all.
455 Pittsburgh is driving. Hill could use some Antonio Brown here. Instead it's Bell down to the GB 10.
456 Bell again, down to the GB 4, just short of a first down.
456 Bell one more time, first down at the 3.
457 1st and goal for pitt. Empty back field. Ben rolls out, buys time, TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!! To not Antonio Brown! Emmanuel Sanders! On Mike's bench. But he dodges a bullet.
458 Third place game alert. Reggie Bush fumbles. Detroit sucks. Hemrick is dejected. Score: Hemrick 114.91 to 38.1 for Matt/Sean. Matt/Sean still has 5 players to go though.
501 San Diego update. center snaps the ball before Rivers is ready. It hits him in the stomach. Recovered by the Raiders. That's so Mark Sanchez of them.
503 Hemrick reminds us that Jerome Boger is indeed a black man that has to count to 3 on his fingers. "I can't believe they put a mic on that guy."
| Some negro; as per Ryan Hemrick |
507 Raiders score a TD. Darren McFadden is still alive apparently. 7-3 Oakland.
508 for the 3rd time, the Cards are driving on the Seahawks. Michael Floyd caught what looked like a TD but it's called back b/c he pushed off. 3rd and 16 for Cards at the Seattle 40.
510 Palmer completes it to Andre Roberts! Just enough for a first down!
511 two plays, one yard for Arizona. 3rd and long for the Cards. And a timeout.
511 ELI!!!!!!!!!!! To Jerell Jernigan. TOUCHDOWN GIANTS!!!
512 Rivers has the ball back. Hands off twice and they get a first down. And Hills lead is back up to 22 points.
513 And Keenan Allen is on the board. A 17 yard catch and run for Allen to cut into Hills lead.
514 Cards are back. Third and 8 from the 25. Under pressure.........and incomplete! FG try upcoming.
514 39 yard attempt for Jay Feely....................................GOOD!
515 3rd and 13 for Rivers after a Ryan Mathews drop. And a first down! Down to the OAK 31. A 28 yard completion for Rivers.
516 Rivers going deep on first down................underthrown.........and INTERCEPTED! Devastating for Mike Mintz. Intended for Vincent Brown. Score update; 125.95 to 105.21.
519 the Packers are about to punt. More Antonio Brown?
523 Hey did you guys know Matt McGloin is an actual football player? Well he kinda is. And he just threw a pick. San Diego ball at the OAK 20 yard line. Ha, Matt McGloin.
525 And here go the Chargers. 6 yard run on first down.
526 Incomplete on 2nd down but PENALTY. First and goal from the 8.
527 Handoff to Mathews. Breaks one tackle.....spins off another....to the goal line.....TOUCHDOWN! Kills Mintz.
527 but Seattle got another turnover. Game rewind shows a tipped pass and picked off. Almost a pick 6, returned down to the 5 yard line. Mintz needed that touchdown.
528 CHAMPIONSHIP GAME RESET. Current score: Hill is up 128.75 to 104.71. Currently Mintz has the Seattle D, Keenan Allen and Rivers. hill has Antonio Brown. After these games Hill has The Cut and Forte and Mintz has Brandon Marshall. To have a chance, Mintz needs to be up 10-15 after the 4 o'clock games.
516 Rivers going deep on first down................underthrown.........and INTERCEPTED! Devastating for Mike Mintz. Intended for Vincent Brown. Score update; 125.95 to 105.21.
519 the Packers are about to punt. More Antonio Brown?
523 Hey did you guys know Matt McGloin is an actual football player? Well he kinda is. And he just threw a pick. San Diego ball at the OAK 20 yard line. Ha, Matt McGloin.
525 And here go the Chargers. 6 yard run on first down.
526 Incomplete on 2nd down but PENALTY. First and goal from the 8.
527 Handoff to Mathews. Breaks one tackle.....spins off another....to the goal line.....TOUCHDOWN! Kills Mintz.
527 but Seattle got another turnover. Game rewind shows a tipped pass and picked off. Almost a pick 6, returned down to the 5 yard line. Mintz needed that touchdown.
528 CHAMPIONSHIP GAME RESET. Current score: Hill is up 128.75 to 104.71. Currently Mintz has the Seattle D, Keenan Allen and Rivers. hill has Antonio Brown. After these games Hill has The Cut and Forte and Mintz has Brandon Marshall. To have a chance, Mintz needs to be up 10-15 after the 4 o'clock games.
533 Seattle just missed a FG with under 30 secs left. That game will go to the half at 3-3. Green Bay has the ball at the 2 minute warning. The Giants are up on Detroit 13-3 with 3:00 left and NE is up 17-0 on Baltimore with 6;34 left in the half. The Ravens have the ball on their own 42 yard line. Haven't seen San Diego in a while on Red Zone.
536 Eddie Lacy goes flying into the end zone for a touchdown. 14-7 Green Bay. Still 1:50 left for Pitt to do something before the half.
540 Big return by Emmanuel Sanders (see: Mintz's bench) and the Steelers are in the two minute drill at the green bay 40.
540 Catch by HHHHHEEEAAAATHHHHHH. First down at the GB 37.
541 Keenan Allen muffs a punt! Counts as a fumble against. Raiders ball inside the SD 5 yard line.
541. Big Ben gets pressure and incomplete.
542 Catch by Cotchery. 3rd and 1. Time out Pittsburgh.
542 Rashard Jennings for Oakland gets stuffed at the 2. 3rd and goal Raiders.
543 Le'veon Bell gets 10 yards on the carry and a first down. Timeout Pitt.
543 1st and 10 for Pitt and incomplete. 2nd down...to the end zone......just over Antonio Brown.
544 Oakland goes incomplete. FG is good.
544 only 6 secs left for Pitt so they're going for 3. 31 yard attempt is.......................GOOD! 14-10 Green Bay at the half.
548 as if mozzarella sticks, wings, fries (crinkle cut nigga!) and sausage and peppers weren't enough, here come the Christmas cookies! Not sure what Hill did to deserve this. I have to imagine Anne Marie comes to her senses soon and a divorce is imminent.
549 "Let's get a little Zach Miller action going," Ryan Hemrick. Me and Hill laughing "WHATTTTTTTT"
555 The Lions are in the red zone. Stafford completes to the Joique Store!! Down to the one on a gain of 14.
557 High question of the day: "If Stella could talk, do you think she would talk like a black person?" I'll give you one guess who asked that.
557 Lions don't get in on first down. This game has 3rd place implications.
558 Handoff to the Joique Store who gets stopped just short again. 3rd down upcoming.
558 I sense play action here. Nope. Joique Bell touchdown. That doesn't help Hemrick at all.
601 Chargers are back and have the ball to start the 2nd half. This better be a big half for Rivers and Allen. It's already 3rd down.
602 First down Chargers thanks to a holding penalty on the Raiders.
605 On third down Rivers misses a wide open Keenan Allen for 20 yards and room to run. They'll have to punt and that's a killer. Hill is now an 85% favorite to win as per Yahoo.
607 Look at this, the Steelers are in the red zone. Fake screen to Brown....and Big Ben takes off! Nobody will catch him. TOUCHDOWN! 18 yards! Big play for Hemrick in the 3rd place game.
608 "C'mon Detroit, win this fucking game," 'giants fan' Chris Hill.
612 And San Diego is back with the ball. Starting on their own 20. Mathews runs for a first down.
613 And San Diego continues to run the ball. Ohhh no huddle. Exciting.
613 ohhh an exciting two yard screen pass to Danny Woodhead. Still not huddling....
614 3rd and 5. Rivers complete to Week 3 superstar Eddie Royal! Back to the line we go...
615 Mathews runs for no gain. Then some "negro tendencies" (hemrick) took over and the Raiders got an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.
616 Chargers first down at the OAK 32. Dumps to Mathews for 9 yards. And a Raiders player just got paralyzed. Injury timeout.
617 Score update: Hill is up 136.45 to 106.44
618 "Kill me now. I'm so hungry...," Stella the dog.
619 the paralyzed guy won't get the hell off the field in San Diego so we're back to Green Bay. Their drive just stalled just across mid field. They'll be punting.
620 Eli just got sacked for a safety. 'Giants Fan' Chris Hill rejoices.
621 and we're back in San Diego. Rivers throws an incompletion but a penalty gives them first and goal from the 10.
623 Handoff to Woodhead. Down to the 4. 2nd and goal.
624 Red Zone game break. FG for Arizona.
624 TOUCHDOWN TO KEENAN ALLEN!!!! Desperately needed for Mintz. Now he needs two more. Score update 132.45 to 118.00. Hill is down to a 77% favorite.
625 Disaster for Mintz! Seattle fumbles the kickoff after the AZ FG and the Cards are first down at the Seattle 18!
626 Palmer completes on first down for 3 yard gain. We went to commercial and I'm not sure why
627 Le'veon Bell fumbles now! GB ball inside the 5. And Lacy gets stuffed on first down.
628 2nd and goal for the pack at the 5. And Flynn throws it away. Play was broken up by Gay, ha.
628 3rd down GB. And Flynn sucks. 4th down.
629 and we're back in Seattle. 2nd and 7 for AZ on the SEA 15. Commercial was for end of the 3rd quarter. And Palmer get sacked!
629 GB FG gets blocked.
630 3rd and 9 for AZ. Palmer hits as he throws........INTERCEPTED!!!!! HORRIBLE THROW BY PALMER WHO JUST LOBBED IT UP.
631 Score Update: 132.45 to 121. Hill is still a 75% favorite.
631 Hemrick notices Hill played the Miami D. Proceeds to have his biggest laugh of the day.
632 somehow Pittsburgh blocked a FG but did so illegally and it's an automatic first down for Green Bay. The official call was "illegal batting" which sounds like a foul in a gay bar.
634 Theo Riddick scores a running TD instead for Reggie Bush. Joseph Fauria catches a two point conversion, but sadly decides it's not worth a TD Dance. Here's one anyway:
635 Lacy is in your facey as he runs in for a TD. Matt/Sean are now projected to win 3rd place.
636 Chargers update. Mathews runs for 34 yards into Raiders territory. Mike needs one more Rivers to Allen TD and then some.
637 Jim Nantz notes Julien Edelman might catch 100 passes this is year. Hill points out he's also really good a fingering girls on the dance floor. That's so Scott Giaimo of him.
638 No Rivers to Allen. They settle for a long FG.
638 Arizona is in the red zone AGAIN. No gain on first down. 2nd and 10 form the 15.
639 Ohhhh a challenge! Seattle thinks Mendy fumbled. I think it came out.
641 Pitt is on the move. Le'veon Bell with a big run.
641 Mendy did not fumble as per the ref. It was a close call. 2nd and 10 for the Cards.
642 Ellington gets 3 yards. 3rd and 7.
643 Stepfan Taylor! Doesn't get the first down. Hard to believe. FG time.
643 TOUCHDOWN PITTSBURGH! To......Matt Spaeth? Who the fuck?
644 Score Update: 132.45 to 118.66
645 this has gone on long enough. I'm done for now. I'll be back if Rivers throws two touchdowns to Keenan Allen. Until then, congrats Chris Hill on being the first two-time champion.
657 one last note. The Giants just tied Detroit. Green Bay is losing to Pitt. If both GB and DET lose, Chicago, who plays tonight, clinches the central. Chicago's coach already said he would rest people if they clinch. If those players are Forte and Cutler and not Marshall, Mintz has a path to a potential ridiculous victory.
536 Eddie Lacy goes flying into the end zone for a touchdown. 14-7 Green Bay. Still 1:50 left for Pitt to do something before the half.
540 Big return by Emmanuel Sanders (see: Mintz's bench) and the Steelers are in the two minute drill at the green bay 40.
540 Catch by HHHHHEEEAAAATHHHHHH. First down at the GB 37.
541 Keenan Allen muffs a punt! Counts as a fumble against. Raiders ball inside the SD 5 yard line.
541. Big Ben gets pressure and incomplete.
542 Catch by Cotchery. 3rd and 1. Time out Pittsburgh.
542 Rashard Jennings for Oakland gets stuffed at the 2. 3rd and goal Raiders.
543 Le'veon Bell gets 10 yards on the carry and a first down. Timeout Pitt.
543 1st and 10 for Pitt and incomplete. 2nd down...to the end zone......just over Antonio Brown.
544 Oakland goes incomplete. FG is good.
544 only 6 secs left for Pitt so they're going for 3. 31 yard attempt is.......................GOOD! 14-10 Green Bay at the half.
548 as if mozzarella sticks, wings, fries (crinkle cut nigga!) and sausage and peppers weren't enough, here come the Christmas cookies! Not sure what Hill did to deserve this. I have to imagine Anne Marie comes to her senses soon and a divorce is imminent.
549 "Let's get a little Zach Miller action going," Ryan Hemrick. Me and Hill laughing "WHATTTTTTTT"
555 The Lions are in the red zone. Stafford completes to the Joique Store!! Down to the one on a gain of 14.
557 High question of the day: "If Stella could talk, do you think she would talk like a black person?" I'll give you one guess who asked that.
557 Lions don't get in on first down. This game has 3rd place implications.
558 Handoff to the Joique Store who gets stopped just short again. 3rd down upcoming.
558 I sense play action here. Nope. Joique Bell touchdown. That doesn't help Hemrick at all.
601 Chargers are back and have the ball to start the 2nd half. This better be a big half for Rivers and Allen. It's already 3rd down.
602 First down Chargers thanks to a holding penalty on the Raiders.
605 On third down Rivers misses a wide open Keenan Allen for 20 yards and room to run. They'll have to punt and that's a killer. Hill is now an 85% favorite to win as per Yahoo.
607 Look at this, the Steelers are in the red zone. Fake screen to Brown....and Big Ben takes off! Nobody will catch him. TOUCHDOWN! 18 yards! Big play for Hemrick in the 3rd place game.
608 "C'mon Detroit, win this fucking game," 'giants fan' Chris Hill.
612 And San Diego is back with the ball. Starting on their own 20. Mathews runs for a first down.
613 And San Diego continues to run the ball. Ohhh no huddle. Exciting.
613 ohhh an exciting two yard screen pass to Danny Woodhead. Still not huddling....
614 3rd and 5. Rivers complete to Week 3 superstar Eddie Royal! Back to the line we go...
615 Mathews runs for no gain. Then some "negro tendencies" (hemrick) took over and the Raiders got an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.
616 Chargers first down at the OAK 32. Dumps to Mathews for 9 yards. And a Raiders player just got paralyzed. Injury timeout.
617 Score update: Hill is up 136.45 to 106.44
618 "Kill me now. I'm so hungry...," Stella the dog.
619 the paralyzed guy won't get the hell off the field in San Diego so we're back to Green Bay. Their drive just stalled just across mid field. They'll be punting.
620 Eli just got sacked for a safety. 'Giants Fan' Chris Hill rejoices.
621 and we're back in San Diego. Rivers throws an incompletion but a penalty gives them first and goal from the 10.
623 Handoff to Woodhead. Down to the 4. 2nd and goal.
624 Red Zone game break. FG for Arizona.
624 TOUCHDOWN TO KEENAN ALLEN!!!! Desperately needed for Mintz. Now he needs two more. Score update 132.45 to 118.00. Hill is down to a 77% favorite.
625 Disaster for Mintz! Seattle fumbles the kickoff after the AZ FG and the Cards are first down at the Seattle 18!
626 Palmer completes on first down for 3 yard gain. We went to commercial and I'm not sure why
627 Le'veon Bell fumbles now! GB ball inside the 5. And Lacy gets stuffed on first down.
628 2nd and goal for the pack at the 5. And Flynn throws it away. Play was broken up by Gay, ha.
628 3rd down GB. And Flynn sucks. 4th down.
629 and we're back in Seattle. 2nd and 7 for AZ on the SEA 15. Commercial was for end of the 3rd quarter. And Palmer get sacked!
629 GB FG gets blocked.
630 3rd and 9 for AZ. Palmer hits as he throws........INTERCEPTED!!!!! HORRIBLE THROW BY PALMER WHO JUST LOBBED IT UP.
631 Score Update: 132.45 to 121. Hill is still a 75% favorite.
631 Hemrick notices Hill played the Miami D. Proceeds to have his biggest laugh of the day.
632 somehow Pittsburgh blocked a FG but did so illegally and it's an automatic first down for Green Bay. The official call was "illegal batting" which sounds like a foul in a gay bar.
634 Theo Riddick scores a running TD instead for Reggie Bush. Joseph Fauria catches a two point conversion, but sadly decides it's not worth a TD Dance. Here's one anyway:
635 Lacy is in your facey as he runs in for a TD. Matt/Sean are now projected to win 3rd place.
636 Chargers update. Mathews runs for 34 yards into Raiders territory. Mike needs one more Rivers to Allen TD and then some.
637 Jim Nantz notes Julien Edelman might catch 100 passes this is year. Hill points out he's also really good a fingering girls on the dance floor. That's so Scott Giaimo of him.
638 No Rivers to Allen. They settle for a long FG.
638 Arizona is in the red zone AGAIN. No gain on first down. 2nd and 10 form the 15.
639 Ohhhh a challenge! Seattle thinks Mendy fumbled. I think it came out.
641 Pitt is on the move. Le'veon Bell with a big run.
641 Mendy did not fumble as per the ref. It was a close call. 2nd and 10 for the Cards.
642 Ellington gets 3 yards. 3rd and 7.
643 Stepfan Taylor! Doesn't get the first down. Hard to believe. FG time.
643 TOUCHDOWN PITTSBURGH! To......Matt Spaeth? Who the fuck?
644 Score Update: 132.45 to 118.66
645 this has gone on long enough. I'm done for now. I'll be back if Rivers throws two touchdowns to Keenan Allen. Until then, congrats Chris Hill on being the first two-time champion.
657 one last note. The Giants just tied Detroit. Green Bay is losing to Pitt. If both GB and DET lose, Chicago, who plays tonight, clinches the central. Chicago's coach already said he would rest people if they clinch. If those players are Forte and Cutler and not Marshall, Mintz has a path to a potential ridiculous victory.
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