HA!

CHAMPIONSHIP DAY: Running Diary

Here's a running diary of the championship game because I'm crazy.  Also at Hill's house is Hemrick, Mintz and their friend G also the trophy, El Grand Sandwich, and some champagne.  Enjoy.

102pm Chris hill let's out his first CORDELLE!!! after a big return

1;05 matt cassel sucks and fumbled.  Red Tom Brady is set up inside the 10.  A chance for the first td

CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK: The Match-up Breakdown

We're only two days away from The Big Game.  Ahead of this weeks match up, let's take a look position by position at who may have the edge on Championship Sunday and who may be hoisting El Grande Sandwich, when all is said and done:

CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK: 'Came'-ron yo face!/Dez Nutz

We reviewed how Mike got to the finals, now let's take Chris.  His season was a pretty smooth ride with only drama being whether he'd get the bye or not.  Now the questions is, can he be first to get his name on this bad boy for a 2nd time:

CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK: Red Headed Step Child

Despite a draft that yielded jack and crap in the first two rounds, Mike Mintz finds himself one win away from hoisting this bad boy:

Let's see how Mintz got here:

Looks fine to me....

This Should Make Matt/Sean Feel Better

Don't worry guys, the NFL has said the hit on the Bengals punter that broke his jaw was illegal!

That fixes everything!!!

Wait, no it doesn't.  But at least you can say you should've been in the finals.

CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK: The Waiver Wire

Everyone knows the waiver wire is where championships are won and lost.  In advance of this week's showdown, Mike Mintz and Chris Hill both reinforced their rosters.

(ed note: a previous version of this post was made but that was before all the waivers actually went through)

RED HEADED STEP CHILD:
Added: Emmauel Sanders, Jared Boykin

With Larry Fitz concussed and facing Seattle, Mintz decided to boost his WR corps ahead of this championship matchup.  Sanders' Steelers and Boykin's Packers actually play each other this week.  If Aaron Rodgers gets cleared to play, Boykin could be a nice addition for Mintz.  Boykin has run hot and cold, with some big weeks and then disappearing in others.  The Steelers pass defense can be had though, so Boykin could be valuable.

Same could be said for Sanders.  The Steelers only have two WRs and a decent TE.  It the game turns into a shootout, Sanders could get 8-10 targets easy.  As it stands now he gets about 5 catches per game.  Seems like he could be a safe option, but Boykin would be high risk, high reward option.

CAME-RON YO FACE!:
Added: Delanie Walker, Kirk Cousins

Let's go to Chris Hill for the block!  Thinking Mintz could use a quarterback, w/ Carson Palmer facing Seattle, Hill picked up Kirk Cousins.  I guess he also thought Mintz needed a TE?  Not sure what to make of Delanie Walker.  He kind of stinks.  And Mintz has Witten so it can't be a block, can it?  Is Hill losing faith in the Came-ron?  Perhaps his confidence is shaken due to the Mintz head games.

Semi Finals Recap

Ok I promise that this will be the first post in a week that doesn't include Kevin McAllister looking disgustedly at a picture of someone in Sandwich Fest.  Promise.  Instead, lets look back at a semi final that has one huge upset and one slugfest.

First, the slug fest.  Below is a gif of the illegal play that gave Chris Hill the win and sent him to his 4th championship game in 5 years.

Just to clarify, you are allowed to block a punter on a punt return.  You are not allowed to break his jaw with the crown of your helmet.  It was an obvious call and a missed call and the 8 points scored on it flipped this matchup.

Prior to that, Matt/Sean got everything they could've hoped for.  Desean Jackson and Josh Gordon got some GTP.  Eddie Lacy went off against the Cowboys.  Amendola was Brady's favorite target with Gronk out.  They had two reaches though and neither came through: Jason Campbell and the Philly D.  But watching red zone, it seemed they had done enough.

Except Hill had other ideas.  The Cut started off pretty terribly, but one Hail Mary to Alshon Jeffrey really turned his day around.  The Cowboys, for all the choking they did, did build up a big lead thanks to Murray and Dez Bryant.  Bryant had the decency to score 32 points before pouting his way back to the locker room.

Aside from Antonio Brown's dubious TD, defense was the difference in a matchup this close.  Carolina against the Jets and their turnover prone QB out scored Philly by 17 points and was actually the difference in this close close match.  Matt/Sean still have a chance to cash in on third place.

The whole season I was trying to reconcile that Hemrick could win it all with players from two teams.  I thought there has to be week where they have tough matchups or one of the QBs gets hurt.  Well, this week proved it was bound to happen but we'll get back to him in a moment.

First, let's make sure we give proper due to Mike Mintz, who advances to his first finals as a Sandwich Fest manager.  I was worried about his running backs, but not only is Pierre Thomas Captain Check-down, but when you get 54 points from your kicker and defense, who needs running backs?  We touched on his luck Thursday night, with Keenan Allen catching only two balls and Rivers completing only 12 passes, but that Allen still had 2 TDs.  Well that Thursday was a foreshadowing of the rest of this match.  There were no breakout performers, but it didn't matter.  He put up just under 180 points which shows he has a chance to win it all.

Although Mintz put up a great score, his highest of the year, lets all take a moment to reflect on what happened to our regular season champ (no trophy for that) in his first playoff game.  As I mentioned on Friday, a 38 year old QB, late in the season, on two bad ankles and only 3 days rest, is not a good combo for his weapons.  They also leaned heavily on Monte Ball, probably due to the short week.

And Detroit, I have no idea what happened there.  At home against an average defense, you'd think they would've moved the ball.  But apparently Matt Stafford is a piece of shit that chokes in primetime.  And who would've though Megatron would drop 3 passes, 2 of which may have led to long touchdowns.  He did diversify a bit, sitting Reg Bush in favor of Steven Jackson, who did pretty well, but not well enough to overcome the shit (literally fecal matter) the rest of his roster produced.

His lowest score of the year came in the most important game.  The dream of back to back is dead.

Cool Ipad Kevin!

I think we all feel this way Brown...

Woof

We be movin' on! - Lets Dance

Thursday Implications - Flames v Red Head

Thursday had some big implications on one of the semi final matchups.  Let's take a look.

Thursday night is a shitty night to play football.  Especially in Week 14 and especially with a 38 year old quarterback with two bum ankles.  This cost Hemrick big time as the Broncos had their worst offensive game of the year, and his 3 Broncos failed to average even 10 points.

Mike Mintz had the other end of the matchup with Rivers and Keenan Allen.  Unfortunately for Mintz, the Chargers controlled the game on the ground with Rivers throwing only 20 passes and completing 12 of them, and Keenan Allen only had two catches.  Fortunately for Mintz, both those catches were TD passes from Phil Rivers.  Add some return yards for Allen and no INTs for Rivers and he got a very respectable 35 points.

This doesn't sink Hemrick.  He still has plenty of talent and I'm skeptical of Mintz's running backs.  But it's pretty much the best start Mintz could've hoped for.

Also, I updated this:

In the other matchup, Hill got 9 points from his kicker.  I guess that's pretty good.  That was the only player going in that one.

Here is hoping Hemrick loses this week....

Semi Final Playoff Preview

With, Denver vs San Diego tonight, there's plenty of implications so best to get this out today:

The biggest Thursday implications are in this game.  Three Broncos for Flames.  Two Chargers for Mike.  Thursday night games are notoriously sloppy, but both these offenses should move the ball, so expect a lot of points.  Welker is out, so more targets could be had for Decker and Thomas.  In the short week though, you have to wonder if Moreno gets as many carries as normal.  Unless the Broncos are just really off their game, you have to think Hemrick takes this match pretty easily.  Detroit should move the ball at home vs Baltimore and Mintz' RB's are pretty weak.  Plus I don't love Palmer on the road.

This should be a tight one.  Lacy is hoping Amendola takes some of those Gronk targets while Hill slots in Patterson and his return yards for the injured Welker.  Both teams have powerhouse RB tandems and two studs at WR.  I'd give the edge to Lacy due to their QB matchups.  Houston has been bad, but their pass D is actually pretty good still.  Cleveland's D has been good as well.  Meanwhile, no one expected Jason Campbell to get a start at any point this year, but he's been playing well and the Bears D stinks.  Same goes for Matt Ryan vs Wash.  But both rosters are in good shape and it could come down to a defense having a big game for one of these guys.

PREDICTIONS:
Flames 183.65 def Red Headed Step Child 134.52
Lacy In Your Facey 172.89 def Came-ron Yo Face 170.14

Everyone see this story this morning ?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/deaf-interpreter-nelson-mandela-memorial-fake-officials-article-1.1544251

Playoff Recap - Wild Card Round

First of all, those 1 o'clock snow games were a lot of fun to watch.  It fucked up fantasy a bit and all my Fan Duels, but any game played in 8 inches of snow is a hoot if you ask me (maybe not if you ask Bry and Scott).  The first round of the playoffs are complete and since there's only two games, I figure, why not bang out a quick recap.

Congrats to Mike Mintz on advancing to the semi finals and a date with Flames.  Carson Palmer and RIvers didn't let him down, even as Red Tom Brady had a good day on his bench.  Fitz, Allen and Marshall, the strength of his team all came through and made up for his lack of a running game.  A solid week was enough to beat a lackluster opponent and get him into the semis.

Bry has fallen, leaving only two players left trying to become our first two-time champ. Bry, who at one point was 7-1 and on top of the world, is one and done.  Let's see what went wrong.  First off, AP got hurt in the 2nd quarter, not good.  He believed in the Ladarius Green hype, which was risky with Gates still around, but necessary with his TE situation in shambles.  Roddy White for Percy Harvin really stretched his depth, forcing him to play James Jones sans Rodgers.  All this led to a nice fisting by the Mintz man.

The favorite in this match was Matt/Sean and they didn't disappoint, winning easily to force a matchup with Came-ron Yo Face.  They have two bona fide studs in Gordon and McCoy.  If they get anything out of their QBs this week, or any week, they are dangerous.  Along with Gordon and McCoy, Lacy, Davis, and Jackson could all go off at any moment, and they have Amendola on their bench, who should see more targets with Gronk out.  But those QBs....

Scott more than anyone got hurt by the weather.  It took Foles a half to figure it out and kept Torrey Smith from going deep.  None of his players did much aside from that.  Stacy had a tough matchup, Olsen had 8 catches but no TD, Kendall Wright who had been a PPR machine got nothing on Thursday night, and Victor Cruz, let's face it, was a huge disappointment after about Week 3.

Scott and Bry, congrats on making the playoffs and have fun being like the rest of us, on the sideline acting like we're actually pretty good at fantasy football and just needed a break here or there.

Plan is to have a preview up on Thursday.

What if they were bald?

http://www.mandatory.com/2013/12/05/todays-nfl-quarterbacks-if-they-were-bald/1

Playoff Preview

Ok, so the recap never happened, my bad.  But here's a quick playoff preview.

BYES:

Flames - much to everyone's dismay, Hemrick's team is a powerhouse, as he owns almost all the key players of two of the three best offenses in the league.  Lest anyone think an injury to either Matt Stafford or Peyton Manning could derail his season, just note that Detroit and Denver had their bye the same week, and Hemrick won with a score over 160.  Hemrick could be looking to start a dynasty at the draft next summer.

Came-ron Yo Face -  the other bye team already could've had a dynasty, already making it to three championship games in 4 years.  He'll try to get to his 4th, but having Bry fall to 4th put him right in Hill's path and makes it more difficult.

GAMES:

How was MJD listed as out, but yet put up 14 points?  Mintz, you should really look into that.  Although the fact that Bry is playing at all this week is the story here.  At one point he was 7-1 and top of the table, but after a 1-4 end to his season, including a woeful season-ending loss to the resurgent Tom Brady Show, here sits Bry as the 4th seed.  Bry will need his running backs to claim the big advantage they have on paper in order to protect against a possible VJax or James Jones stinker. Mintz made the good move of benching Red Tom Brady and if he connects with Larry Fitz on a TD or two, Mike could make some noise here.  I think this will be close matchup, but the winner will most likely......................GO DOWN IN FLAMES!!!!!!!

Sneaking into the third seed was Matt/Sean thanks mostly to that beast Josh Gordon.  They also have DJax and McCoy in what should be a high scoring matchup.  I don't love EJ Manuel on the road and Cecil Shorts failed to reach ten points.  They'll need Eddie Lacy, Vern Davis and Matt Ryan to come through.  I believe in Matt Ryan and Lacy has a good matchup, but Davis is in trouble.  Scott has the all unsung team with Foles, Smith, Wright, Stacy along with Olsen and Alex Smith.  Before the season, you'd think this was PromNiteDumpsterBaby worthy, but all have been consistently producing.  Aside from Foles though, there's no true game breaker here.  But if 140 points is enough to get by, then Scott will win.  Especially if the one gamebreaker he might have, Victor Cruz, finally goes off-but it's been awhile since that's happened.

PREDICTIONS:
Red Headed Step Child 142.03 def Mr. McGibblets 138.96
Lacy In Your Facy 151.25 def Balls Deep 138.25

Round 1

Yes Jim. It's the Playoffs!!!!!

And it starts tonight!

Amazing...

Time For The Second Season

Gentlemen,

Another regular season in the books.  The playoffs are starting this week and we will crown our fifth champion.  Will we have our first two-time champ?  Three of the first four champions are in, while Matt/Sean, Scott and Mintz look for their first title.

I'll get up a brief recap at some point, as Bry made the trip down to Long Island to lose his bye in agonizing fashion (that has to be documented), but until then, here are the playoff matchups: