New Coach, New Identity

"I'd like to thank you all for coming today.

When we announced on Wednesday that we had fired our coach, we promised more changes would be coming, and today, I'd like to announce that change.  Although the general manager has been hard at work, looking to shake up the roster, it appears Peyton Manning and Jamaal Charles are not appealing to the other teams in the league, even though they are #1 in their respective positions in points scored.....but I digress.

We're here today to announce a change we can control, the hiring of our new coach.  Ladies and Gentlemen..."




"Please welcome Rich Kotite to the McManning Face family."

"Richie has experience leading losing teams.  In his two years coaching the Jets, he won 3 games, including a 1-15 season.  But his players never gave up, they kept showing up for work, despite constant beatings from the media, fans, and more importantly, the other teams around the league.

Rich has had a lot of time to reflect on how to become a better coach and we feel he will be.  He used his time away from football to join a winning team.

There he managed his store to #14 in the region, displaying the same fiery demeanor that led him to be a head coach in the NFL.

Calm Down Richie!

We're excited to have Richie on board and expect him to get to work right away, instilling confidence in our players and letting them know, that a 1-12 season, isn't the end of the world.  There's always a place for you at McDonalds.  I want to again thank you all for coming and hope we meet the next time under better circumstances."

Paul Cipriano
General Manager