Throwback Thursday

This is like that idiotic trend of posting old pictures of you and your friends on facebook from middle / high school or whatever except better. A lot better. I still get made fun of a lot...but it's still better.

==============================

Subject: Week 1 recap - actual

Date: 09/15/2009

The first week of Sandwich Fest is in the books.  There were winners, losers, huge embarrassments, and lucky victories.  The transactions are picking up as everyone overreacts to the first week of games.  Three of the 5 matches hung in the balance going into last night and I expect the upcoming week to be equally as close...just being optimistic really, I have no basis for that thought.  Now since I know some of you don't read past the first couple of lines in a rush to try to be a) more witty then the original email (impossible) or to b) complain (the waiver issue is fixed, everyone exhale), I'll just put a reminder up top here about Sandwich Fest Football Feast Volume 1 (feat. special guest star and Michael Strahan's best friend Joe Gannon).  Time will be 1 o'clock, venue TBD, but most likely The Main Event in Plainview.  As for the Week 1 matches, we'll start w/ the blowouts.

Balls Deep 123.58 (1-0) vs. Stella's Fella 88.90 (0-1)

Yay, James actually gets something written about his team!!!  But only after a little praise for the team that tooled him.  A solid effort by the Balls Deep (an apt name in this case) squad.  Scott didn't have a single player over 20 pts, but every player contributed except of Owen Daniels, who plays for the Texans and they all sucked.  Balls Deep had 7 of his 11 players put up at least 10 pts (including his kicker and defense) and if it wasn't for a Tomlinson fumble, it would've been 8.  James had a bad week from Rivers (for Rivers anyway), Berrian (did he even play), Portis (who played the G-Men), and Shiancoe (wasn't good enough for the Giants).  However James got a promising outing from the Green Bay D, who I ridiculed you for taking in the Draft Recap, although it's still too early to make a clear call on that.  Next up for Stella's Fella is Huck N Tuck.  Balls Deep will be taking on Donte Drink N Drive.

PitinosAbortedFetus 139.06 (1-0) vs. Whammy 73.84 (0-1)

Whammy: a bad name, and a worse team (whammy!).  Although he could've had any other team in the league and still lost to Ferencz, who got the best week out of any defense in the history of fantasy football (Phila, 34pts).  Short of that, and Tom Brady, Pitino might be more smoke and mirrors then a talent, but it's the first week and he's in first place so I can't go crazy here can I?  Whammy already got Willie Parker out of his starting line up so that will help.  Maybe putting the 40-year-old QB with a bum shoulder, who hadn't gone to training camp, played in only 3 quarters in the preseason, and is trying to learn a new offense in the Flex spot wasn't the best move.  Or maybe that's just my 4th cup of coffee talking (jk, it was a bad move).  Live and learn Bry, live and learn..

Week 2: Pitino vs penismightier; Whammy vs I Love Mams.

OsiEatsBabies 74.64 (1-0) vs. Donte Drink & Drive 72.34 (0-1)

Well this was the closest game of the weekend...that's about all I got on this one.  74 points?  Really?  That won?  Even Whammy could've won this (just piling on now for fun).  Osi and Donte, to their credit, are both working the free agent market trying to upgrade their teams in the wake of this disturbingly pathetic effort.  Osi got subpar outings from Dallas Clark, Roddy White, Steve Slaton, and Lee Evans.  Two will come around, two I have my doubts on, specifics will not be given so as to not give advice, but I don't believe this team is this bad.  Ray Rice put up a TD and he also had the Jets D on the bench.  Donte is still putting his team together after his no-show for the draft.  He fell victim to the Texans as well as Matt Schaub did his best Jason Campbell impression, and no one would start Jason Campbell would they? (hint: Joe Ferencz did).  Aside from that, he just had an off week but has a talented roster (Turner and Jacobs did nothing) and he already got rid of Laveranues Coles.  He also brought in Cadillac Williams who looked good but will most likely blow a tire (get it? It's a car reference. That's funny.) again and leave Sean cursing the Flying Spaghetti Monster once again.

Week 2: Osi vs Antonio; Donte vs Balls Deep.

thepenismighier 118.72 (1-0) vs. AntoniosGotAGun 111.64 (0-1)

Zach Miller crushed my hopes and dreams less the 10 mins into the game last night.  I held out hope that the Raiders would be an atrocity, but like the Bills, they played winning football for 3 and half quarters, before finally playing like the Raiders.  Brown was able to survive despite a kicker that put up a -2 (true story) thanks mostly to Peterson (AP28 - can I pull that off as a nickname?  I think he deserves one) and Matt Hasselbeck.  Also remember when I took Baltimore just before him and let him punch me in the face b/c of it?  Well he took Pittsburgh instead and outscored me 15-3.  At least I got punched in the face though...awesome.  We both had NOTHING from our WRs, Steve Smith (carolina) B Edwards and Housh for Brown and A Johnson, Royal and D Jackson for me.  This match really came down to defense and Peterson and I lost on both counts.  I did have the most points of any losing team, but the key there is LOSING team, kms.  Congrats to Brown on a solid week and an exciting match that you were lucky to win.

Week 2: see above.

Huck N Tuck 133.50 (1-0) vs. I Love (Fedor's) Mams 108.90 (0-1)

This was the last close match going into last night but Huck pulled away thanks to Moss, Gates and Kaeding.  The San Diego D didn't do nearly enough for Mams to keep him in this game.  All in all though a good first fantasy week for Hemrick who put up a very respectable number.  Romo and Reggie Wayne killed it for Mams, and he got the screwgie when Anthony Gonzalez left the Colts game early (although Wayne probably would've put up less points then).  Matt Forte will be better in the future Hemrick, don't get discouraged yet.  As for Huck, two words: Drew Brees.  Also nice pickup w/ Mike Bell who put up a 12-spot.  The rest of his team was average, but he got a minimum of 7 points from every position and the Giants D (thanks to Osi) put up a 15.  Huck was #1 in the preseason rankings and showed why in week 1.  He plays Stella's Fella next week and if you check the posts on the league website you'll know why this could be some fun smack talk to read throughout the week.  Mams takes on Whammy.

POWER RANKNGS - Week 1

1. Huck N Tuck - put up a solid week, no need to move him down now.

2. PitinosAbortedFetus - I know you have more points, but if your defense puts up over 30 pts again I'll convert to Judaism.

3. thepenismighter - I f'n hate Adrian Peterson

4. Balls Deep - solid yet unspectacular in victory

5. AntoniosGotAGun - I know I lost, but I had the most points out of all the losers and if you win with under 80 pts, it doesn't count*

6. I Love Mams - put up over a hundo in his first week.

7. Stella's Fella - made me eat it on the Green Bay D. 2 good QB's and Rivers will be better next week.

8. Donte Drink & Drive - yes he ranks ahead of the team he lost to.  Team is good, he's just working out the kinks right now.

9. OsiEatsBabies - you won, so you have that going for you and your WRs will be better, but get a QB, seriously.

10.Whammy - not all hope is lost.  Gore looked good, and Warner can't be that bad all year so Boldin has to be better and Parker is already out of his starting lineup. 

* - new official commissioner rule

Paul Cipriano

Liability Claim Representative ELCO Administrative Services PO Box 541548 Flushing, NY 11354

718-762-3020 ext. 306 direct 718-762-3119 fax

mailto:e573c4@erac.com

2009 Draft Results