I feel like the night before our actual draft is a good day
for a mock draft. I’ve done only the
first round, because it would take too long to do more, but I paid careful
attention to tendencies I’ve noticed from you guys over the past four years and
coupled that with what the experts are saying this year to form what I think is an accurate forecast. Will be fun to see how much I get right.
Round 1
1. Bry – RGIII – Bry tries to atone for the trade that cost
him his season last year. He wastes no
time.
2. Scott – Chris Johnson – Why wonder if he’ll be there in
round 2 when you can get him in round 1?
3. Brown – Ryan Braun – a little unorthodox (or is he
Orthodox?) but there’s no Jewish football players, so Brown goes off the board
here.
4. Ferencz – Tim Tebow – in a search for answers in life,
Joe turns to the Jesus reincarnate.
5. Hill – Eli Manning – after reading the Throwback
Thursday, Hill feels the need to once again dedicate himself to the New York
Football Giants.
6. Hemrick – Cecil Shorts - this one was tough because
Hemrick hates everyone, but he read in the skinny that Shorts was a flame in
Week 1 and didn’t want to miss out.
7. Mintz – Ruben Randle - Spurned on his coveted Eli
Manning, Mintz decides to break some hearts and stay true to his Giants roots
and takes Randle.
8. Sean/Matt – Mike Williams Tampa Bay – Matt: “I like Doug
Martin here.” Sean: “If we’re going to
take a Buc (which we have to do), let’s take Michael Clayton" /points to the
name on the back of his jersey. Matt: “He
retired in 2007.” Sean: “Well who’s the
new Michael Clayton?” Matt: “Mike Williams?” Sean: “WE’LL TAKE MIKE WILLIAMS!” Matt: /facepalm
9. Commish – Adrian Peterson – Improbably the best player on
the board falls to me at 9. I’m torn
here between AP and Aaron Rodgers, or maybe Megatron, but I’ll go with
Peterson.
10. James – BenJarvis Green-Ellis – James arrives at the
8:30 draft at 8:45 without any paperwork.
Panicked, he blurts out the only thing he can remember, a catchy
nickname, “The Law Firm!” he shouts.
Then whispers “is he good?”
That was hysterical
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