Week 9 Recap

I know you're all (Bry) are thinking, "well the commish wins, we get recap" but that's really not true.  I have just have a lot going on in my life right now and I really was hoping to get into an in depth discussion of my then 1-7 record and regret to this day it did not happen.  But now I'll attempt to make up for it and use my entire lunch to make sure all of you are completely satisfied.

The scores are going to suck from this week (with 2 exceptions) due to the amount of byes, so I won't get too crazy on them.

In the mother of all lucky wins, Mike Mintz gets the dream scenario.  It's not quite having players get into a car accident on the way to the game, but Aaron Rodgers getting hurt at the end of their first series and therefore rending Jordy Nelson useless and therefore ending Brown's fantasy season, is about as close as you can get.  Thiw was going to be an easy win for Adam Brown, but now Mike Mintz goes above .500 and squarely into a playoff spot.  Brown had to be feeling pretty good after getting 23 points from Flacco and getting a nice James Graham game.  But Rodgers fucked him right in the asshole.  He bent Adam Brown over, Lambeau Leap style, and just jammed it right in without lube.

Here's a post-rape Aaron Rodgers striding triumphantly from the scene of the crime.  Notice the look of satisfaction on his face:

Meanwhile, while Brown was busy crying into his rape towel, Mike got a big game from Brand Marsh to pull out the victory.  He also blew me up with a missile.  I never saw it coming.

Hemrick lost Matt Stafford, Reggie Bush, Eric Decker and Julius Thomas.  He still won.  Not only did he still win, he still put up 150 points.  Sometimes you just can't do anything wrong.  That appears to be Ryan Hemrick.  Maybe The Flying Spaghetti Monster is shining down him.  He sees Hemrick devolving into a Belliparian existence of whores and gambling and is trying to help him see the right path.  Actually, that doesn't sound so bad.  Maybe he's rewarding Hemrick?  In any case, he beat Bry, which is good b/c Bry was getting out control.  I don't think that pineapple meme brought him down at all.  Unfortunately he's still in first, so will likely remain insufferable until that changes.  Hemrick is on his heels now though.  And to be fair, if Sproles is healthy, this game is a toss up.

Here were the two scores that didn't suck, and unfortunately for Ferencz, they were both in the same match.  Scott had the good fortune of starting Nick Foles, and the two best running backs of the week in Zac Stacy and Chris Johnson.  This one Chris Johnson performance all but guarantees Scott picks him in the first round next year.  As for this year, the point total knocks him up 4th place.  Ferencz had some good injury replacements, but got screwed with Arian Foster being held out on Sunday night.  Even with a zero he put up 180 points.  That's legit.  A little bit more luck and Ferencz should make the playoffs easy.

A much needed win for Matt/Sean who finally get back in the win column to keep themselves in that last playoff spot.  The MNF performance of Ed Lace helped them make up for the awfulness that is now Matt Ryan and Geno Smith, who luckily for them ran for a TD.  Both of these defenses came up with TDs and had big games, so no advantage was gained there.  But the second coming of James Graham looks more like the second coming of Jared Cook, which has to worry the one-time league leader.  But once a full strength, both these teams should be just fine.

You know you've hit rock bottom when you beat a team and that effects the other owner enough to put the league on blast about trading his best player.  James literally paid zero attention until he lost to me.  That's not saying much for The Tom Brady Show.  Again, back to full strength, I expect James to do much better next week, esp with Gronk back and Brees back home and Gore back in the lineup.  For me, I'm 2 games out with 4 to play but my point totals have been suffering and I have to pass 3 other teams.  Not totally dead, but pretty much dead.