Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Monday, November 11, 2013
Monday Implications
Ok, so Bry is right, when the commish wins, we all win (except for Ferencz, he lost - pending stat correction Wednesday). We're 3 weeks from the end and no one is really out of it (even me, more on that in the recap). Here are the Monday Implications for tonight:
Formerly unstoppable 'Came'-ron yo Face! (that sucks to type) is holding onto a shitty 14 point lead with a whopping 96.61 points scored for the week. That's horrific, though he had some bad Jake Locker luck. Brown is down 14.31 points with Ryan Tannehill left to play tonight. This will be close I think, since the Miami O-line is in shambles and Tampa has some talent on D. If the line holds up and Tampa has quit on their coach (both possible), than Brown can win and send Hill further into his shame spiral. Did you seriously not play Mike James after all that bullshit this week Chris? Weird.
Also a formerly great team, Mr McGibblets is down 30.75 points to Red Headed Stepchild with Vincent Jackson to go. VJax has done it before, and the Miami secondary can be had, but I don't think they can be had that bad. He has at least a small chance right? Right? A win here is huge for Red Headed Stepchild as it would pretty much send him to the playoffs.
Who would think that Miami-Tampa Bay would have so many implications? Well here's 3 out of 5 matches. Hill Hunter is 21.74 points down to Flames after a fine effort by the still not traded Drew Brees and the resurgent Marques Colston. James is in an excellent position with Hartline and Wallace to go tonight. If the Miami offense has even an average night, we're looking at the top 3 teams in the league all losing and falling back to the pack.
Sandwich Fest, where parity rules!
Formerly unstoppable 'Came'-ron yo Face! (that sucks to type) is holding onto a shitty 14 point lead with a whopping 96.61 points scored for the week. That's horrific, though he had some bad Jake Locker luck. Brown is down 14.31 points with Ryan Tannehill left to play tonight. This will be close I think, since the Miami O-line is in shambles and Tampa has some talent on D. If the line holds up and Tampa has quit on their coach (both possible), than Brown can win and send Hill further into his shame spiral. Did you seriously not play Mike James after all that bullshit this week Chris? Weird.
Also a formerly great team, Mr McGibblets is down 30.75 points to Red Headed Stepchild with Vincent Jackson to go. VJax has done it before, and the Miami secondary can be had, but I don't think they can be had that bad. He has at least a small chance right? Right? A win here is huge for Red Headed Stepchild as it would pretty much send him to the playoffs.
Who would think that Miami-Tampa Bay would have so many implications? Well here's 3 out of 5 matches. Hill Hunter is 21.74 points down to Flames after a fine effort by the still not traded Drew Brees and the resurgent Marques Colston. James is in an excellent position with Hartline and Wallace to go tonight. If the Miami offense has even an average night, we're looking at the top 3 teams in the league all losing and falling back to the pack.
Sandwich Fest, where parity rules!
Friday, November 8, 2013
Transaction Analsys
We have a trade to announce:
It's official, THE Mike James can now be considered the top back in all of fantasy. That's because he's just been traded for the most talented back in the entire league.
To Bry: The Mike James
To Hill: Adrian Peterson
I think this is an obvious win for Bry. Mike James runs. Mike James hits. Mike James throws touchdowns. Mike James catches touchdowns.
Last I checked, Adrian Peterson had one good run all year. He father's children out of wedlock and then doesn't even know they exist. He plays for the Vikings. Not sure how Bry was able to get The Mike James for only one player but he's obviously very persuasive.
Hill hurts his chances at a championship with this trade. It makes no sense. He traded, straight up, The Triple Threat Mike James for "Father Of The Year" Adrian Peterson. I was temped to veto this trade due to collusion (perhaps Hill is giving Bry a super team so they can split the winnings at the end?) but that would be rash.
In any case. Nice win Bry.
It's official, THE Mike James can now be considered the top back in all of fantasy. That's because he's just been traded for the most talented back in the entire league.
To Bry: The Mike James
To Hill: Adrian Peterson
I think this is an obvious win for Bry. Mike James runs. Mike James hits. Mike James throws touchdowns. Mike James catches touchdowns.
Last I checked, Adrian Peterson had one good run all year. He father's children out of wedlock and then doesn't even know they exist. He plays for the Vikings. Not sure how Bry was able to get The Mike James for only one player but he's obviously very persuasive.
Hill hurts his chances at a championship with this trade. It makes no sense. He traded, straight up, The Triple Threat Mike James for "Father Of The Year" Adrian Peterson. I was temped to veto this trade due to collusion (perhaps Hill is giving Bry a super team so they can split the winnings at the end?) but that would be rash.
In any case. Nice win Bry.
Its been a while... but guess who LOVES Mike James
Mike James, Buccaneers: OK, so yeah, not only did Mike James lead the league in rushing yards last week with 158 yards, against the Seahawks, in Seattle, but 68 of those yards came after contact. Not a fluke. This year, James has averaged 2.2 yards after contact per carry, second most in the NFL. Meanwhile, the Dolphins, who might be a little distracted this week, allow the third-most rushing yards after contact. They give up the third-most fantasy points to opposing running backs, he's somehow still available in 80 percent of leagues, and I'm playing against him in the ESPN War Room league, where I need a win and am without Jamaal Charles and Rob Gronkowski, so I assure you he's going off. Top 20 guy for me.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
The Flying Spagetti monster is real
I guess its not just a south park reference :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Week 9 Recap
I know you're all (Bry) are thinking, "well the commish wins, we get recap" but that's really not true. I have just have a lot going on in my life right now and I really was hoping to get into an in depth discussion of my then 1-7 record and regret to this day it did not happen. But now I'll attempt to make up for it and use my entire lunch to make sure all of you are completely satisfied.
The scores are going to suck from this week (with 2 exceptions) due to the amount of byes, so I won't get too crazy on them.
In the mother of all lucky wins, Mike Mintz gets the dream scenario. It's not quite having players get into a car accident on the way to the game, but Aaron Rodgers getting hurt at the end of their first series and therefore rending Jordy Nelson useless and therefore ending Brown's fantasy season, is about as close as you can get. Thiw was going to be an easy win for Adam Brown, but now Mike Mintz goes above .500 and squarely into a playoff spot. Brown had to be feeling pretty good after getting 23 points from Flacco and getting a nice James Graham game. But Rodgers fucked him right in the asshole. He bent Adam Brown over, Lambeau Leap style, and just jammed it right in without lube.
Here's a post-rape Aaron Rodgers striding triumphantly from the scene of the crime. Notice the look of satisfaction on his face:
Meanwhile, while Brown was busy crying into his rape towel, Mike got a big game from Brand Marsh to pull out the victory. He also blew me up with a missile. I never saw it coming.
Hemrick lost Matt Stafford, Reggie Bush, Eric Decker and Julius Thomas. He still won. Not only did he still win, he still put up 150 points. Sometimes you just can't do anything wrong. That appears to be Ryan Hemrick. Maybe The Flying Spaghetti Monster is shining down him. He sees Hemrick devolving into a Belliparian existence of whores and gambling and is trying to help him see the right path. Actually, that doesn't sound so bad. Maybe he's rewarding Hemrick? In any case, he beat Bry, which is good b/c Bry was getting out control. I don't think that pineapple meme brought him down at all. Unfortunately he's still in first, so will likely remain insufferable until that changes. Hemrick is on his heels now though. And to be fair, if Sproles is healthy, this game is a toss up.
Here were the two scores that didn't suck, and unfortunately for Ferencz, they were both in the same match. Scott had the good fortune of starting Nick Foles, and the two best running backs of the week in Zac Stacy and Chris Johnson. This one Chris Johnson performance all but guarantees Scott picks him in the first round next year. As for this year, the point total knocks him up 4th place. Ferencz had some good injury replacements, but got screwed with Arian Foster being held out on Sunday night. Even with a zero he put up 180 points. That's legit. A little bit more luck and Ferencz should make the playoffs easy.
A much needed win for Matt/Sean who finally get back in the win column to keep themselves in that last playoff spot. The MNF performance of Ed Lace helped them make up for the awfulness that is now Matt Ryan and Geno Smith, who luckily for them ran for a TD. Both of these defenses came up with TDs and had big games, so no advantage was gained there. But the second coming of James Graham looks more like the second coming of Jared Cook, which has to worry the one-time league leader. But once a full strength, both these teams should be just fine.
You know you've hit rock bottom when you beat a team and that effects the other owner enough to put the league on blast about trading his best player. James literally paid zero attention until he lost to me. That's not saying much for The Tom Brady Show. Again, back to full strength, I expect James to do much better next week, esp with Gronk back and Brees back home and Gore back in the lineup. For me, I'm 2 games out with 4 to play but my point totals have been suffering and I have to pass 3 other teams. Not totally dead, but pretty much dead.
The scores are going to suck from this week (with 2 exceptions) due to the amount of byes, so I won't get too crazy on them.
Here's a post-rape Aaron Rodgers striding triumphantly from the scene of the crime. Notice the look of satisfaction on his face:
Meanwhile, while Brown was busy crying into his rape towel, Mike got a big game from Brand Marsh to pull out the victory. He also blew me up with a missile. I never saw it coming.
Did you know...
Mike "I have two First Names" James has more passing Touchdowns than Mark Sanchez this year?
Monday, November 4, 2013
Friday, November 1, 2013
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