New Coach, New Identity

"I'd like to thank you all for coming today.

When we announced on Wednesday that we had fired our coach, we promised more changes would be coming, and today, I'd like to announce that change.  Although the general manager has been hard at work, looking to shake up the roster, it appears Peyton Manning and Jamaal Charles are not appealing to the other teams in the league, even though they are #1 in their respective positions in points scored.....but I digress.

We're here today to announce a change we can control, the hiring of our new coach.  Ladies and Gentlemen..."

I know everyone is trying to get Bowe from Paul but...

Dwayne Bowe, Chiefs: I'm sorry, America. I have no idea why Kansas City paid this guy so much money if it's not gonna try to get him more involved. I don't buy the "He's washed up and slower" talk. Just seems this offense has gone super-conservative, which, sadly for Bowe owners, is working for KC, so I don't see this changing. Bowe has yet to catch more than four passes or go for more than 58 yards in a game this season. Sigh. Brutal matchup as well, as no team has allowed fewer receptions or receiving yards to opposing wide receivers than the Texans.

I was going to post a joke about my penis

but it's too long

We take a moment to not talk about sports....

Well this is no longer... the government is back to work... so w/ the government back at work, that means

This guy is as well...

 

Congrats Hemrick...you are now like the rest of us... (cept for this guy)

 

 

Stay Classy Joe...

 

Paul Cipriano Fired As Manager Of McManning Face!

A statement from McManning Face GM, Paul Cipriano:

"This is obviously a very difficult day for this organization.  The decision to let myself go as manager was not one that I took lightly.  But after several weeks of the manager continually starting Dwayne Bowe, after it was clear he was useless, and despite repeated requests by management to sit his ass down, we had no choice but to make a change.

This organization strives for excellence each season.  Our owner demands it.  I demand it.  And most importantly our fans demand it.  One win in six games is unacceptable.  Hopefully a new coach with a fresh message and new voice can spur some underachieving players to reach the level expected of them prior to the season.

I want to thank Paul for all he did for this organization.  We will cherish the championship forever.  Now we look forward to more championships as we open up a new chapter in this franchise's history.  We anticipate a new will be in place in time for our upcoming matchup."


A statement from former McManning Face Manager, Paul Cipriano:

"Well, this season certainly has been a shock for me.  Coming into the year, I had high hopes for the squad our management team put together.  Hours of research prior to the draft led to us fielding a competitive roster, but one that could not overcome some bad bounces.  I still believe this team has a chance to reach the playoffs, but our record is not up to the standards this organization strives to reach, and therefore changes need to be made.

I want to thank our fans for their support and kind words during this tough stretch.  I want to thank management for this opportunity.  I was proud to lead this team to a championship only two seasons ago.  I know with the leadership in place, this team will not give up, and will once again reach the standards expected by the fans, the players and the owner.

I ask that you please respect my and my families privacy during this difficult time.  Thank you."

Week 6 Recap

Well we can tell there's some byes starting, because this scores this week were pretty horrendous all around. 

This matchup is a prime example of some shitty scores.  Remember when I was talking about Brown's bad luck last week?  Turns out playing James solves that problem (where do I sign up?).  Brown got the win despite going against the WR trio of Marques Colston, Chris Givens, and Ryan Broyles.  That seriously has to be the worst WR trio I've ever seen.  I'd venture to say that's the worst WR trio ever fielded by a fantasy team in a 10-team league.  And I'm talking in the entire history of fantasy football.  They have combined for 115 points for the year, or a whopping 19 points per week.  From 3 players.  Combined.  He also continues to start Eli Manning, who is averaging a shade over 10 points per week.  Wow.  Good win for Brown who crawls out of the basement, all the way into 9th place.

Bry wins this heavyweight battle and does so pretty handily.  He also gained 30 points on the first place team in the process and moved two games up on Matt/Sean, the other threat for a bye.  Matt/Sean were without Matt Ryan and I guess this is my fault, but I should've made it clear that you don't HAVE to start a quarterback in the flex.  Any position can start there.  This is the only explanation I can come up with as to why a savvy manager such as Matt Ficeto, would think it's a good idea to start Ryan Fitzpatrick in Seattle.  I actually think 6 points was the best case scenario.  They are #1 in points in the league still, so I should back off a bit, but c'mon...Ryan Fitzpatrick?

Bry's stars kind of let him down here, but he got two bounce back performances from guys previously thought of as fantasy studs.  Cam Newton lit up the Vikings and looked like he did as a rookie, and in Tampa, Mike Glennon found out being a QB is much easier when you just throw it up to VJax and let him make a play. Bry is in the driver's seat now for a bye.

Speaking of byes, Hill is inline for one as well.  Not a great score for Hill, but Scott.....oh boy Scott.... I know Cobb got hurt (and stayed hurt) but this team is falling apart.  Kappy looks like he's destined to be a bust.  Vick is injured.  Cobb is injured.  Doug Martin isn't getting goal line carries.  Chris Johnson continues to be Chris Johnson.  Alex Smith refuses to throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field.  Even Scott's kicker got hurt:

Hill's team did enough to keep first place by about 20 points over Bry, but that gap is closing quickly.  Murray got hurt, but Ray Rice is ready to slot in there and Hill shouldn't miss a beat.  A little concerning is Jordan Cameron, who for two weeks in a row was not a featured part of the offense.  But other than that, not much to worry about here.  A good squad that should get a bye.

Hemrick's team is starting to mount a comeback here.  The high scorer of the week is now 4th in points and 4th in the league.  Justin Blackmon, on a team without a QB, is coming through big time for Hemrick.  And this week, Knowshon Moreno won Broncos Bingo and was given all the touchdowns.  Next week it might be Decker or Thomas or Thomas or Welker, but this week it was Moreno.  He put up 180 points with Megatron doing nothing.  Impressive display for Hemrick

Ferencz was hanging in there for a while, but Moreno's big day kind of buried Joe.  Amazingly, the Andre Ellington play worked out, but Garrett Graham, and really all the Texans but Foster, was a disappointment in a game they were expected to dominate.  Ferencz moves down to 8th, but I still think this team is a playoff team.

Mintz' win puts him at 3-3 and in position to make the playoffs.  Andy Dalton almost doubled the score of Peyton Manning.  Both his reach receivers scored touchdowns.  And despite whiffing with his running backs, he still put up 155 points and a win.

So the towel is in my hand.  My arm is raised in a throwing motion, but I can't bring myself to do it just yet.  This week I play the first place team though.  That might make me throw it.  This is pretty simple, if my QB's suck, so does my team.  I do love Jamaal Charles though.

And this is why bad luck kills a team, because everyone is bound to have a down week, but at 1-4 a down week will kill you and it pretty much has killed me.  The GM is not happy and has promised changes to the media.  Stay tuned, things could get interesting.

'Everyone but the center'

Congrats Brown on the win... eat Chinese food to celebrate!!

Monday Implications

Good Afternoon All,

   My name is Chris and I will being doing the Monday Implications for you to probably not enjoy.

McManning Face v Red Headed Step Child

   Well...this is the reason I am doing it this morning/afternoon.  Paul is losing, about to go to 1-5 on the season, trailing Mintz 131.43 to 89.80.  So this means, unless there is a miracle where V. Brown, Luck and Woodhead put up 10000000 more points than Rivers and TRich, I will probably being doing most of the blogging from here on out, which is a shame because he is much better at it.  Prediction here is RHSC holds of MF and neither need to watch the game tonight to see the outcome.

The Holo What v Flames

   No real implications, Joe is down by like 27 w. only a D to go and Hemrick has some player going.  But it was real nice hanging out with you fella's yesterday.

Lacy in your Facey v Mr. McGibblets

  All day I was following this matchup as it has a direct implication on my standings in this great league that Paul has created but unfortunately is about to check out of mentally.  Bry's total was projected higher and higher during the day to score way over 180 pts...well the day ended and he is stuck @ 164.15 w/ no one to play and just under 27 pt lead.  Matt/Sean/Hills team has Gates left, and coming into the year no one thought Gates would do much, well he is the only thing really doing anything on the Chargers.  Is 27 pts a lot.. yes.. is it a distinct possibility.....in my opinion (and hope) is a definite YES.  So while Bry may have it, he should stay up really late, not get any sleep to make sure he holds on. (and my prediction is he will)

PromNiteDumpsterBaby v Hill Hunter

  Wow...does it matter who wins this.. both teams have put up pathetic efforts.  James may be sleeping better w/ his new sleep machine and Brown may have mastered dog training, but neither are any good any fielding a fantasy football team.  Brown is up by 5 w/ Wayne to go and James has Fleener.  I dunno...who cares I guess...ill say Wayne outscores Fleener therefore putting this matchup to bed and Brown gets his second win of the year and James' freefall continues (and should trade me Brees).  Lets just hope 1 of them breaks 100.

That is all.. everyone enjoy your Monday, if you have off god-speed.. if not you are like the minority. And I will end this w/ my favorite GIF of this Sunday



Bonus GIF for Paul...

Hey, How Cold Is Your Beer?

The Simpsonssssssss!

TGIF!

Inspirational Friday Poster:

The Nugget Challenge

Paul has challenge me this Sunday to a McNugget Challenge.  I have 40 minutes to eat 40 McDonalds Chicken McNuggets.  It is a $20 bet, plus the cost of the nuggets.   I believe I will accomplish this challenge, but it is more difficult than I think I originally thought.

If you will be at my house on Sunday, then you will get to witness this challenge.

Happy Friday!

Bry - here is a little lesson for you

Anatomy of the Neck

Nice neck asshole